Why You Keep Procrastinating:
The Emotional Key to Breaking Bad Habits and Building Confidence

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Each evening, when Sara Blakely’s family gathered around the dinner table, her father would ask a question that might surprise you: “What did you fail at today?”

For most of us, the word "failure" carries a heavy weight, but in the Blakely household, it was different. Her father wasn’t focused on the mistakes; he was encouraging his children to take chances, try new things, and understand that failure wasn’t something to fear—it was a natural part of learning and growth.

For Sara, this daily practice planted the seeds of a mindset that would later help her build a billion-dollar company, Spanx. Instead of shrinking back when faced with challenges, she learned to push forward, viewing setbacks as steppingstones rather than roadblocks. Failure wasn’t the end of the story—it was simply a chapter in the journey.

But not all of us grew up with this kind of message. Many of us were taught—explicitly or subtly—that failure should be avoided, that mistakes were something to be ashamed of. Instead of being encouraged to take risks, we were urged to play it safe, to stay within the lines. Over time, these messages shaped how we approached not just failure, but life itself.

If you've ever struggled with procrastination, self-doubt, or the fear of stepping outside your comfort zone, you're not alone. So many of us carry the weight of those early lessons, stuck in habits that make us feel small, unsure, and hesitant to move forward. 

The good news is that while these mindsets may feel deeply ingrained, they can be shifted. Just as Sara learned to embrace failure, you can begin to break free from the habits that hold you back and start building the confidence to create the life you truly want.

Early Childhood Mindset Formation and Its Impact on Habits

From the moment we are born, we are like sponges, absorbing everything around us. The beliefs and behaviors we witness, the words spoken to us, and even the subtle ways our caregivers respond to challenges all leave a lasting imprint on how we view ourselves and the world. These early years are crucial because they lay the foundation for the habits and mindsets that shape our adult lives.

As children, we take in both direct and indirect messages. Perhaps you were told outright that making mistakes was bad, or maybe you picked up on your parents’ own fears about failure and risk. If your family was often anxious about money or played it safe when opportunities arose, those beliefs likely became part of your internal dialogue.

Psychologists have long studied how early childhood shapes who we become. Research on neuroplasticity shows that the brain is especially malleable during these formative years. The messages we receive—whether they are about success, worthiness, or scarcity—become hardwired into our thinking, influencing our behaviors long after we leave childhood behind.

For instance, when a child is repeatedly criticized or made to feel inadequate, they may develop what psychologist Carol Dweck calls a fixed mindset—the belief that their abilities and intelligence are set in stone. This mindset often leads to avoiding challenges, procrastination, and fear of failure. On the other hand, children raised with encouragement and the freedom to make mistakes are more likely to develop a growth mindset—the belief that abilities can be developed through effort and learning.

These early mindsets don’t just fade as we grow older. Instead, they shape the habits we form in adulthood. If you were raised to believe that success is unattainable or that failure is something to avoid, it’s no surprise that habits like procrastination, avoidance, or even self-sabotage have crept into your life.

Consider James Clear’s work in Atomic Habits. He emphasizes that our habits are small actions we repeat based on our beliefs. If deep down you believe you’re not good enough, or that success is always just out of reach, it’s natural to form habits that keep you stuck—habits that reinforce the very beliefs you’re trying to overcome.

As adults, the mindsets we developed in childhood don’t simply disappear. They quietly shape our behaviors, influencing how we respond to challenges, opportunities, and even our own goals. Three of the most common struggles rooted in these early mindsets are procrastination, scarcity beliefs, and imposter syndrome.

Procrastination and the Fear of Failure

Procrastination isn’t just about putting things off—it’s often about the deep fear of not being good enough. For those of us who were raised with the belief that failure is something to be avoided, taking action can feel risky. What if we fail? What if it’s not perfect? Rather than face those uncomfortable possibilities, we procrastinate, delaying action as a way to protect ourselves from failure.

Carol Dweck’s research on fixed vs. growth mindset sheds light on this. People with a fixed mindset tend to believe that their abilities are static and unchangeable, so they avoid challenges where they might fail. This avoidance reinforces the belief that failure defines their worth, trapping them in a cycle of inaction.

But procrastination isn’t just a time-management issue. Research by Dr. Tim Pychyl, a leading expert on procrastination, shows that it’s deeply tied to emotional regulation. We procrastinate not because we’re lazy, but because we’re trying to avoid negative emotions—like anxiety, fear, or self-doubt. These emotions are often rooted in the mindsets we formed long ago, making it difficult to break free without addressing the underlying beliefs.

Scarcity Beliefs and Risk Aversion

Another mindset that often holds us back is the belief in scarcity—the idea that there’s never enough time, money, or resources. If you grew up in an environment where scarcity was the norm, it’s easy to carry that mindset into adulthood. Scarcity thinking can manifest in different ways, from avoiding opportunities to overspending or poor money management.

For some, scarcity beliefs show up as risk aversion. The fear of losing what little we have can be so overwhelming that we hesitate to take even small risks, whether that’s investing in ourselves, pursuing a passion, or accepting a new opportunity. The thinking goes, “What if I lose everything?” or “I’m not sure I can handle it.”

On the flip side, scarcity beliefs can also lead to impulsive behaviors. The fear of losing resources can drive us to overspend or make poor financial decisions because we’re focused on instant gratification rather than long-term stability.

Whether through avoidance or impulsiveness, the scarcity mindset keeps us stuck, constantly worried about the future rather than confident in our ability to create abundance.

Imposter Syndrome and Self-Worth

Even when we achieve success, many of us still struggle with a deep sense of not being "good enough." This is the hallmark of imposter syndrome, a mindset that convinces us that our accomplishments are undeserved, and that sooner or later, we’ll be exposed as frauds.

Imposter syndrome is often linked to early experiences of judgment, criticism, or high expectations. When a child feels like nothing they do is ever enough, they can grow up with a lingering sense of inadequacy, even when they’ve achieved great things. This inner critic whispers, “Who do you think you are?” or “You just got lucky.”

Psychologist Pauline Clance, who first coined the term "imposter phenomenon," found that people suffering from imposter syndrome often overwork or procrastinate, driven by the need to "prove" their worth. Despite external success, they feel as though they’re constantly falling short, which fuels cycles of self-doubt and inaction.

Our mindsets don’t just influence how we feel about challenges—they directly shape the habits we form. Over time, these habits become the framework of our daily lives, guiding everything from how we spend our time to how we approach opportunities and relationships.

Procrastination as a Habit

When procrastination becomes a habit, it often stems from a deep fear of failure. The mindset that tells you “it has to be perfect or it’s not worth doing” leads to a pattern of delay. You might find yourself putting off important tasks, waiting for the “right moment” or ideal conditions. This avoidance keeps you stuck, reinforcing the belief that you can’t handle failure.

Take, for example, J.K. Rowling. Before becoming one of the best-selling authors in the world, Rowling faced rejection after rejection from publishers. During these difficult times, it would have been easy to procrastinate out of fear of more rejection. But she pushed through, eventually transforming her mindset from one of self-doubt to perseverance. Her ability to continue writing despite setbacks shows the power of breaking through procrastination and believing in your potential.

Scarcity Beliefs and Avoidance Behaviors

Similarly, a scarcity mindset can create avoidance behaviors that limit your potential. If you’re constantly focused on what you don’t have—whether it’s time, money, or resources—it becomes easy to avoid taking risks. The fear of loss or running out can make even small decisions feel overwhelming, leading you to stay in your comfort zone, avoiding new opportunities.

Look at Oprah Winfrey’s journey. Raised in poverty, Oprah grew up surrounded by scarcity thinking. But through conscious effort, she shifted her mindset from one of lack to abundance, ultimately building a media empire. Oprah’s story is a powerful example of how embracing abundance over scarcity can completely transform your lifestyle and open doors to greater opportunities.

Imposter Syndrome and Self-Sabotage

For those who struggle with imposter syndrome, the habits formed often include overworking, self-sabotage, or extreme perfectionism. The constant need to prove your worth can lead to burnout, or, paradoxically, cause you to avoid opportunities where you fear being “found out.”

Maya Angelou, despite her incredible success as an author and poet, often spoke about feeling like an imposter. She feared that people would "find out" that she wasn’t truly deserving of her success, despite her accomplishments. Her experience reminds us that even the most successful people can struggle with imposter syndrome, but by working through those feelings, they can still achieve greatness.

Breaking free from the habits that have held you back isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely possible. The key lies in understanding that just as your current habits were formed through repeated actions, new habits can be created through conscious, intentional changes. Shifting your mindset is the first step toward transforming your life.

Our brains are remarkably adaptable, thanks to a concept called neuroplasticity. This means that, with consistent effort, we can literally rewire our brains, forming new neural pathways that support healthier habits and more positive mindsets. The challenge, of course, is that this takes time and practice. But every small step you take toward change makes a difference.

James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, introduces the idea of “habit stacking,” where you build new habits by attaching them to existing ones. For example, if you struggle with procrastination, you might start by committing to just 10 minutes of focused work each day, attaching this new habit to something you already do, like your morning coffee. Over time, those 10 minutes grow into longer stretches of productive time, and the habit becomes ingrained.

As you begin to shift your mindset and build new habits, you’ll notice that your lifestyle begins to change too. Instead of feeling trapped by procrastination, scarcity, or imposter syndrome, you’ll find yourself taking action, embracing opportunities, and building the confidence to pursue your goals.

This transformation isn’t just about changing individual habits—it’s about creating a lifestyle that reflects growth, abundance, and resilience. As you continue to practice new habits and shift your mindset, you’ll find that what once felt impossible now feels achievable.

The challenges you face today—whether it’s procrastination, scarcity beliefs, or imposter syndrome—are not just random obstacles. They are deeply rooted in the mindsets formed during childhood, shaped by the messages you received and the experiences you lived through. But the power to change lies in your hands. By shifting your mindset, even in small ways, you can start to break the habits that no longer serve you and replace them with ones that reflect your true potential.

The key is to start small. Reframe failure as a learning experience, challenge the beliefs that hold you back, and build new habits that align with your goals. As you practice these changes consistently, you’ll find that your mindset begins to shift. What once felt like insurmountable obstacles—whether it’s avoiding tasks, fearing scarcity, or doubting your worth—will start to dissolve, making way for growth, abundance, and confidence.

Remember, lasting transformation doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey of small, consistent steps that build upon each other over time. And as you continue to shift your mindset, you’ll not only change your habits, but you’ll also design a life that reflects your true potential—one filled with purpose, confidence, and fulfillment.

Curious what mindset block might be holding you back?  Take the quick Mindset Quiz to find out!

Your mindset shapes the habits, choices, and beliefs that define your life. Whether it’s breaking free from procrastination, shifting from scarcity to abundance, or overcoming imposter syndrome, each step you take toward a healthier mindset brings you closer to the life you want. Remember, this journey is about progress, not perfection. Start small, stay consistent, and let each shift build on the last.

Ready to make real changes in just 5 days? Join our 5-Day Mindset Shift Challenge and kickstart your transformation today!

Reflect on your journey! If any of these questions resonate, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below—or keep them for yourself as powerful journaling prompts.

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